Slumber Ed
by Slender Operator
Summary: Another scam, another failure. At the end of the day, they're just regular kids. ONE-SHOT. Rated T for inappropriate jokes.


**A/N: I just wrote this today cuz I was bored. Go figure. And I AM/WAS BlueLightningXD.  
**

* * *

"OW! Not so rough, nurse's assistant!"

Another scam, another failure. This is the usual routine for the Eds. After the demise of their latest scam (who would be dumb enough to buy an automatic basketball shooter?) the boys just barely managed to escape with minimal damage. Well, Ed and Double D did. Eddy got caught and paid the price for his actions. They are now at the middle Ed's house recovering.

"Don't say I didn't warn you, Mr. 'Nothing Will Go Wrong'," Edd babbles after bandaging up Eddy's arm. "My Cabinet of Failed Inventions is named so for a reason. My creations are safety hazards, Eddy! Why I ever decided to show you it is beyond me, but-"

"Quit your yappin' and help me up!" the shortest Ed erupts. Suddenly, yellow arms wrap around him and lift him into the air.

"Excuse me, miss. Do you need help crossing the street?" Ed randomly asks.

"I wanna hit you with a street."

"Um," Edd starts. "Gentlemen, if I may, it's almost 7 o'clock."

Eddy looks outside and marvels at the sunset. Gee, it sure looks cool. The shortest Ed turns his attention back to the other two and nods in agreement.

"You're right, Sockhead. Eh, I'll just phone my folks and tell 'em that I'm sleeping over."

"Not so fast," the taller boy interrupts. "I never agreed to this. I was simply informing you of the time."

Eddy smirks at the unspoken challenge.

"Okay, Double D," Eddy starts in the sweetest voice he's ever used. "I understand. We've overstayed our welcome. Ed and I will just have to walk to our separate homes. Alone. In the dark. Where anything can happen."

Ed seems to sense what Eddy's trying to do and carries him to Edd, where they both put on their puppy-dog faces. Edd rolls his eyes affectionately in response and turns around in faux hesitation.

"Well, when you put it like that," the smartest Ed bit his lip. "I suppose I can allow you to sleep over tonight..."

"YAY!"

"...on one condition."

The two celebrating Eds freeze as they listen.

"No horseplay, no messes,-"

Ed frowns at this.

"-no scams, no hammers, no screaming, nothing dangerous."

"Geez, replace me with Eddo, why don't you!" Eddy whines.

"I am sincerely considering that."

* * *

It's now almost 8:30 and the Eds are in the living room watching TV. They have enough food to last them at least four hours and the movie they are watching is an adult comedy.

"I don't know about this, Eddy. What if somebody catches us?" the smartest Ed stresses.

"Relax, buzzkill," Eddy tells the genius as he slaps his back (making the boy spit out a popcorn kernel). "My folks are fine with me watching these kind of movies. As long as I don't ask them anything."

Eddy looks over at the colossus to his left (who was stuffing his face with popcorn).

"What about you, big guy. What do your 'rents think about you watching these movies?"

"Mah parench don't cawe ash long ash Sharah doeshn't shee." the tallest Ed mutters as he stuffs more popcorn into his mouth.

"Figures," the short Ed growls. He turns his attention back to the middle Ed. "I'm guessing your parents don't want ya watching these movies. Kinda sad since we're already 13."

"Well, mother and father trust me. If I want to watch something educational or something entertaining, nothing is stopping me, I suppose. Although, TV, as they say, 'kills your brain cells' so they usually frown upon it." Edd explains.

"Wow."

_"Little bro, you can't just rush into it. You have to go a little slower or you'll lose it. Never go to fast or too slow. Just enough to keep you both satisfied. Because if you go too fast, it'll end too soon. But if you go too slow, she won't like it. Go at that speed that you both will like._

Ed struggles to contain his laughter as Eddy grins. Edd simply blushes furiously and tries not to smile.

_"... When did this turn into Sex Ed?"_

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The Eds can't hold it in anymore. They all laugh as hard as they could at the joke, sides starting to hurt as tears roll down Ed and Eddy's cheeks. The shortest Ed rolls around on the floor, unable to breathe, as the other two try to calm themselves.

**SNORT!**

Ed and Eddy turn to Edd, who covers his mouth in surprise and shame.

...

"BWAHAHAHA!"

"I-I'm still laughing at the other joke too, cuz-" Eddy can't even finish his comment before laughter takes over him once more.

"OUR NAMES ARE ED!" the tallest Ed's voice booms, fighting against the laughter.

**SNORT!**

"D-Double D's turning into a pig!" Eddy weakly screams/laughs.

* * *

It's almost midnight and the Eds are in their sleeping bags, just eating and talking. They stopped watching TV awhile ago because the only thing that was on was anime (although Ed still wanted to watch it).

"I've always wanted to see what Nazz looks like in a bikini." the shortest Ed admits.

"Eddy! That's perverted!" Edd scolds him.

"C'mon! Admit it! You've always wanted to see Nazz in nothing but a bikini." Eddy eggs him on.

"Yeah, Double D," Ed joins in. "The truth sets you free."

"Say it, say it, say it, say it!"

"Alright! Yes, I myself have always wondered what Nazz would look like wearing a two-piece." Edd confesses shamefully.

Sensing Edd's shame, Eddy puts an arm around his shoulder.

"Nothing to be ashamed of, Quagmire. We're 13, a doll, idol, ad-"

"Adolescent?" the middle Ed corrects halfheartedly.

"Yeah! We have hormones, we think about makin' babies, stuff like that. We're all goin' through it, Sockhead. Why are you any different?"

"Because I'm the prodigy! I'm the brilliant one! I can't have people, my parents included, knowing that I have sick-minded thoughts!"

"C'mon Double D. Even I think about stuff like popping babies!" Ed says, trying to make Edd feel better.

"Fine. But this stays between us."

"Like how we know there's a **█** under your hat?"

"Yes."


End file.
